Holy Crapola

Well, I apologize I have lacked on the whole New Years Resolution thingy but I will explain, as it was explained to me by the lovely Ellen our adorable, dancing daytime talk show host. When I said New Years Resolution it doesn't mean I will start at the actual "new year". It means like, a couple of weeks after the "new year". We need a week to recover from Christmas, a week to recover from New Years so here we are, this is the actual week for starting your lofty New Years Resolutions. Now, as for why I could not exactly start Monday, which is the preferred day for beginning with change; I was basically trying to get over being a somewhat more light-hearted version of Linda Blair in the Exorcist.

Yes, the Exorcist. At approximately 10 pm on Saturday, Jan. 10th I return from a nice birthday dinner for my dear friend Monique at her favorite establishment that sounds a bit like hennihanas. I feel so bloated and miserable even though, I didn't eat very much at all. Nonetheless, I go into my cute little bathroom and there it all begins. Folks, I am almost a thirty year old and in all my life, I have only heard stories like this, though never actually experienced for myself until now. I now, this is a family blog so I won't go into details, but OMG!!! I figure I lost about 10 pounds in fluid and 3 pounds in some other forms in the time span of no more than 4 hours. I wish this upon no one and pray that since I am now able to say that I have experienced this phenomenon I will be blessed enough to say I only experienced that once in my so very precious life.