My Son

As I said in a previous post I had a pretty horrific year so let me explain while I'm in the sharing mood. I found out I was pregnant on December 3, 2009. It was a surprise but after a month of pure shock our hearts started opening and we felt blessed to receive such a miracle. A miracle because after 7 years together we had never even had a scare and then two days after my Papaw died somehow we conceived. I say "somehow" but trust me, I know how it works! lol I shared the news with my family and to my amazement everyone was thrilled and the farther along I got, the more my belly and baby grew the more we all got anxious to meet my little one. I drove people crazy picking out all the "best of" items for our registries because I truly spent days and weeks researching baby items. When I couldn't find the perfect crib and changer in my state of Indiana I just picked what I needed up in Louisville, Kentucky! NBD!!! Today I am the mother of son I never got to meet. My heart is broken into a billion tiny little pieces and live everyday just trying to smile through all the pain. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with no apparent issues, just that at some point inside me he died. I was 2 days away from August 3rd (his due date) when this happened and I still find it cruel that I made it so far to lose so much. I suppose I am feeling down lately which is why I want to share my experience...hoping it well help me and maybe even help someone else (assuming someone actually reads this blog). Perhaps tomorrow will be a brighter day.